What to do if Newt Calls YouA story by CitizenJoe
GOP presidential candidateventures, informally known as Newt Inc. and comprised of two for-profit ventures and a now defunct political committee, brought in more than $105 million from 2001 to 2010, as Gingrich eyed a higher office,
million dollar accounts at tiffanies for his 30,000 dollars an hour rambling lobbying hobby job I see
"Newt 2012" is on our caller ID. I lift the phone. Boy, am I stoked.
"Hello," I say.
"Hello," comes the voice, "this is Newt Gingrich, and,,," the recorded voice tells me all that is wonderful about Newt and his glorious history (Speaker of the House!), and how he will save us from a failed and socialist Obama, and how he (Newt!) is better than all the other in-fighting Republican candidates
Newt rambles on until you get a live voice saying "Hello!" Debbie says, "Thank you for holding. I want to tell you..." And she does. And does some more. Debbie sounds like a very nice, earnest person. She clearly believes in Newt, trusts him. Apparently, a number of women have trusted Newt, but Debbie fails to mention this...nothing at all about Family Values™.
Anyway, after asking me for "Seventy-five, or a hundred dollars, or more," Debbie finally pauses.
"I am really excited that Newt called," I say.
"Oh?" Perhaps Debbie smells a rat.
"Yeah! The last time I heard from him, it was a fax, telling me I had been selected as an outstanding Physician of the Year. All it was going to cost me was $5000, and it included a meal with Newt, and a nice certificate to hang in my office." Then I add (which may be a lie; who knows?): "My brother got one of those faxes, too. Five thousand dollars for a dinner and and framed piece of paper."
"But the campaign limit is $2500," Debbie objects. "So, $5000--"
"Yes. But this was a scam. There are no limits to scams. And, I understand that Newt did the same thing with businesses, asking $5000 for them to receive some sort of outstanding American entrepreneur award. One of the businesses he scammed was a strip club, and--"
"I am not a scam," Debbie says, rather vehemently. And I think of Nixon, because, you know, I got all these thoughts twirlin' in my head...
"I know you are not a scam," I reassure Debbie, and I hear her sigh. "But Newt is the walking, talking embodiment and incarnation of a scam."
Debbie gasps a little. I smell blood, but I try to stay nice. Or at least pretend.
"You can look it up," I say. "Google Newt, scam, physician. Or google Newt, scam, business."
"I had no idea you felt this way."
"You should get to know Newt a little better," I say.
morehttp://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/11/2 ... last-night